oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
