This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
