Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am one with the molecules
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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