just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
