You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize