once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize