redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
