I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
