wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
