let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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