I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The convent might be a nice break from real life
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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