plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
