great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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