laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize