Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
