Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
