ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
