also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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