I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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