Dual....:-)
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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