Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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