a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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