First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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