So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
