I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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