That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
