She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
