Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize