Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize