Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
