miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
