Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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