my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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