That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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