I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
