We won't sleep together?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
