Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
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no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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