I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
