areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
