My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
