Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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