I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
