so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
