why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
