Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
