Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize