I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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