we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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