dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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