If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
