Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
