we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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