In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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