Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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