Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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