this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
