my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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