Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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