I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
