I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize