if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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