Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
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We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.