Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She even gives head with a lisp.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.