if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.