There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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