I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
