So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
